Where I Belong
by Jackieluu
Summary: "We don't know who we are until we're connected to someone else. We're just better human beings when we're with the person we're supposed to be with. I wasn't supposed to leave. I belong here." I OWN Nothing. That would be Kurt Sutter.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

_"We don't know who we are until we're connected to someone else. We're just better human beings when we're with the person we're supposed to be with. I wasn't supposed to leave. I belong here."_

He never knew he could be in this much pain, of course he has had his fair share but nothing compared to this. Not even the death of his father or brother. When they died he felt the loneliness that came after but with Opie and his mother helping him through it he got better. But this.. This was something else entirely. Jax felt as if his heart had been ripped from his chest and stomped on repeatedly and all that was left was a gaping hole. The love that was once there now just a bitter memory and it had only been one hour. One hour since the love of his life told him she was leaving Charming because she couldn't end up just being an old lady, she had bigger plans. He knew it was coming she had been begging him to go with her but he couldn't. This life is all he knew and he was destined to sit at the head of that table and three years ago he thought he would rule alone but now he couldn't see his future without her in it.

Sitting outside the clubhouse he lifted the bottle of Jack to his lips and took a long swig. The warm liquid burning as it slid down his throat. He was numb, he felt nothing.

"You alright brother?" He heard Opie's deep voice from behind him.

Jax shook his head fighting back tears, he knew Ope wouldn't give him shit for crying like a bitch over some girl but his other brothers would and he wasn't about to give them the satisfaction. Looking over at his best friend. "She left." Saying those words broke him down even more, it was all becoming a reality and he didn't know if he could handle it. Without saying a word opie walked over and took a seat next to him on the table placing a comforting hand on his back. He knew what he was talking about without having to say anything. Jax had told him about Tara asking him to leave with her and he didn't understand why she needed to get out so badly but she actually did it and he wasn't sure how Jax was going to handle it. Probably drown himself in weed, booze, and pussy till…that he wasn't sure of.

"Anything broken?" Opie asked, looking at his busted knuckles and the blood that was still running down his arm pooling in to a small puddle below.

Jax chuckled as he looked at his hand and for the first time noticed how bad it was bleeding, he flexed his hand and felt the pain shoot up his arm but he did not wince. "I'll be fine." He lifted the bottle to his lips once again. Opie pulled out a smoke and put it to his lip as he lit it. They sat there in silence as they watched the sun set. He knew that Jax needed to deal with this shit on his own and he would be there when he needed to talk it out but Opie wasn't sure what he could say. He had no idea how he felt. How do you deal when the person you love more than anything leaves? If Donna did that he didn't know what he would do.

Finishing off the bottle he gets up from the table. "I need to get the fuck out of here." Without saying anything else to his friend, he grabs the second bottle he had brought out with him and walks off towards the main entrance. He had to get away from that place, the place where his heart broke only three hours ago.

* * *

**3 Hours Earlier**

Tara sat on the edge of her bed staring at the acceptance letter from UCSD, it was finally time for her to get out like she always wanted. When she thought about this day freshman year she thought she would be happy, hell she thought the minute she got the letter she would be out the door and away from her drunk father.

But then Jax happened.

Falling in love with Jax was something she never saw coming. Tara was never the type to have a serious relationship, she never had any relationships she went out on a few dates but it never went anywhere she never felt a connection and she never trusted anyone. Guess that was something that happens when you lose your mother at a young age and have to basically raise yourself because well technically she lost both parents, because when her mom died something in her dad died to and he has never been the same.

Jax had changed that, he made her feel safe and protected. She let him in where no one else had been before. She gave him everything, all of her.

Now here she was about to leave him to go to San Diego. She had to get out, she couldn't be trapped here like her mother was. She had to do something and she wanted Jax to go with her but he kept saying he couldn't. The club was all he knew, all he was destined for. But to her it was all bullshit he was capable of so much more. He was better than being an outlaw.

Tears drops fell on to the paper and she quickly wiped them away. Today was supposed to be a happy day, the best day of her life but she knew it was going to be her worst. Standing up from her bed she walked in to her bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked paler than usual and her eyes were rimmed red and puffy from crying. She knew there was no way she would be able to hide that from Jax, she took a deep breath before walking out of the bathroom grabbing the letter from the bed stuffing it in to her shoulder bag before throwing it over herself and then grabbed the suit cases that laid on her bed before heading it out towards her car.

After loading everything in she said her goodbyes to her dad who didn't seem all that sad before getting in to her car and heading to the last place she knew she needed to go.

As she pulled in to the lot she quickly found his bike, she pulled off to the side and parked. She felt the tears coming but she held them back. She needed to control herself, she couldn't lose it in front of everyone. Getting out of the car she made her way in to the clubhouse, she heard a few members say hey as they smiled nicely at her and then nodded their heads back to the dorm room indicating that was where Jax was. Her eyes met with Opie's and she smiled slightly and continued making her way back to the dorm room. Opening the door and stepping inside she looked around not seeing him, she saw his clothes tossed around the room and she suddenly felt a panic rise in her chest as she thought that maybe he wasn't alone. She quickly pushed those thoughts away knowing that Jax wouldn't do that to her. Sure he used to be the biggest whore of Charming High but since they got together he always reassured her that he was faithful and she believed him.

"Jax?" She asked and then the door from the bathroom opened and he stepped out fully dressed, but his hair was damp. _Oh, he was in the shower. _She thought feeling like a bitch for thinking he was with another girl. His face brightened as he looked at her, a smile forming on his face.

"Hey Babe." He said as he walked over to her with familiar swag, placing a hand on her hip he leaned in and kissed her lips gently. The feeling of his lips on her almost made her break down right then. She couldn't do it, she couldn't leave him. _NO! you have to! _She told herself. He pulled back and looked at her, he saw the paleness of her skin and her red rimmed puffy eyes. She had been crying. "You okay?" He said starting to get angry thinking that her father hurt her again. He truly hated that man.

Tara pulled from his embrace and walked around him to the other side of the room, she stood with her back away from him closing her eyes trying to figure out how she was going to break her own heart. Turning around to face him she avoided looking directly in to his eyes because if she did she would never be able to do this.

"I'm Leaving Jax."

"What do you mean?" He said as his brows furrowed together in confusion, He didn't remember her saying she was going anywhere.

"Charming. I'm leaving Charming and going to San Diego."

"I thought we were going to talk about this before you made a decision."

Tara sighed. "I've tried to talk to you and you change the subject, so I'm done talking."

Jax shakes his head looking away from her. How could she do this? How could she really leave? "So that's it. Your just gonna leave like the last three years didn't mean shit. Like our relationship didn't mean shit."

"Don't fucking do that." She said raising her voice a little as the tears began to fall once more. "You know exactly how I feel about you. You think I want to leave you?"

He shrugged his shoulders in a gesture that was basically telling her obviously. "What am I supposed to think? You show up here saying you're leaving and I have no say in the matter."

Tara closed the distance between them grabbing ahold of his hands. "Come with me. We can start over somewhere else. Please baby I don't want to be without you." She finally met his eyes as tears still stained her cheeks.

He could see the truth in her eyes and it broke his heart. He wanted to tell her yes so badly that it hurt. But he knew he could never leave he couldn't do that to his club, his brothers, or his mother. But Tara was his everything his true north and he knew he couldn't be without her either. He needed her as much as she needed him. He was nothing without her.

"You know I can't Tara. This is my life, my destiny and I want you by my side. I need you by my side."

There was her answer, the same one he had been giving her since she first brought UCSD up a month ago. She knew he would say no before she had even asked but she had hoped that maybe she was wrong, that the pull this club had over him wasn't stronger than there love but she was wrong. Letting go of his hands she brought them up to his cheeks, stroking them with her thumbs. She kissed him gently, squeezing her eyes shut as more tears fell.

"I love you." She said as she pulled away. She looked at him one last time before stepping away from him and walking out of the room.

Jax stood there not really sure what had just happened and what he was supposed to do. He felt the anger rage through his body as he turned and swung his fist connecting it with mirror above his dresser multiple times, it shattering to pieces.

* * *

Tara sat in her car for what felt like forever. It had been one hour since she left Jax and told him she was leaving but she was still there. Well half way gone, she had passed the Welcome to Charming sign a few miles back but she couldn't control her tears and had to pull over and she was still sitting there. She knew she needed something more with her life but she couldn't figure out why that something was outside of Charming. Why she had to leave Jax. She didn't give a shit about what her father thought or what Gemma thought, she just cared about Jax and what he thought.

The tears no longer ran down her face but the stains were still there, she knew she needed to choose. So she took a deep breath, started her car and headed towards her future.

* * *

He walked for what felt like hours, he was feeling the full effects of the liquor he had consumed. The second bottle was nearly empty and he had started to stumble a bit. It wasn't until he realized where he was that he stopped walking. He walked the spot, there spot. It overlooked Charming and from there it looked beautiful were Tara's words. _Tara_. He wished he never met Tara Knowles, she turned his shit upside down he let her in gave his heart to her and she stepped all over it. _Fuck her _he told himself.

Feeling himself getting angry he threw the bottle at the ground with so much force it shattered. He felt the tears run down his cheeks before he realized he had been crying. He was crying over a girl like a pussy whipped bitch. But that's what he was, so completely pussy whipped and he had loved every minute until now. Taking a seat on the ground he looked out at Charming as his mind began to drift back to the day, the day Tara Knowles changed his life.

**AN: Okay so i'm back a lot sooner than I thought lol. I just had to get this out and see what you guys thought to see if I should continue. The next few chapter are going to be flashbacks and then it will go to present day. So please R&amp;R I enjoy feedback!**


	2. Chapter 2

**_The first hello._**

Today was supposed to be his day. The day of his sixteenth birthday. The day he would get his bike and be able to ride and be one step closer to becoming a member of the club he loved so much. It was all he had wanted for so long, it was what his father wanted. He wished his dad was with him now, he wouldn't feel so lost and confused and angry. He hated his father for leaving him like he did, Jax understood that losing Thomas was hard, hell he cried for weeks in his room when he was all alone but he did what he needed to and pulled himself together and took care of his mother the way his father couldn't. Then he just died, got taken out by a god damn semi.

Jax couldn't understand how everything went to hell in a matter of seconds. His birthday party was in full swing and he was having an amazing time. He was chattin up one of the crow eaters debating on whether he wanted to take her back to the apartment now or later. Clay's voice caught his attention when he silenced the crowd and started talking about Jax and how proud he was of him and the man he was becoming and some bull shit about being the future leader of the club. Then he revealed the bike Gemma got him with his help and fuck if that wasn't the most beautiful he saw and he couldn't push himself from where he saw quick enough to get the keys.

A few moments later his mother asked him in to the office by the garage and he couldn't help but think there was another surprise and it was a fucking surprise.

All he heard was that his mother and his fathers supposed best friend were engaged and soon to be married before he stormed out of the office and hopped on his bike and took off leaving his party behind. _How the fuck can she marry him? _His father had only been dead about a year and she was already moving on. He hadn't even got over it and Gemma acted like it didn't even faze her and that was always unsettling to him.

So he left and drove for what felt like hours till he stopped at a clearing that overlooked Charming, a mile or so outside of town, he father had showed it to him and Thomas when they were younger and since then he would come out here when he needed to get away.

* * *

_You're a stupid bitch! Just like she was!_

Were the last words she heard from her father before she grabbed her bag and keys and ran out the door letting her legs take her away from that hell hole she was just in. The tears fell down her cheeks before she could stop them. She was used to those words, when her father got that drunk he would start with the name calling and usually she could take it. But tonight was different, she had just gotten out of the shower after a couple hours of cleaning and making dinner along with doing her homework.

She was going through her closet looking for something to wear when she found something she hadn't seen in years, it was a shirt, her mother's shirt. Her favorite one that she used to sleep with every night after she died. It was a Led Zeppelin shirt that her mother got at one of their concerts on their first date. She decided to put it on and that was her mistake. As soon as her father came stumbling in to the house and he saw the shirt she was wearing. He immediately told her to change it but she refused and that's when the yelling started.

He then cornered her and demanded she changed it and she went to move out of his way and he grabbed the shirt and all she heard was the rip and that was all it took to make the tears start falling and she pushed him out of the way and ran out the door.

She ran for a few blocks before she started walking, she didn't know where she was going. She just needed to get away and there was only one place she knew of to go.

Tara sat on the ground and looked out over the clearing and looked at her town. God how she hated and loved this place. It was her parents' hometown and everything wasn't always shit. They used to be happy _she _used to be happy. But when her mother died in a car accident when she was nine her father died too and the only thing he likes to do other than work was drink.

Tara reached in to her bag and pulled out her already rolled joint and a pack of matches. She put the joint to her lips and struck the match. She inhaled deeply letting the smoke fill her lungs holding it a few seconds before exhaling, hoping to find some sort of relief. She heard the bike before she saw it and she quickly looked towards the direction of it and saw someone pull up a little ways from her. She looked back down at her joint not really caring who was there. She took another hit closing her eyes as she blew out the smoke letting the effects of the weed take over.

Not being able to help herself she glanced over again and who she saw caught her by surprise. Jackson Teller. One of the bad boys of Charming, at least that's what everyone around school calls him. Tara knows him just as Jackson the boy. Their parents were good friends and she can still remember going over to his house when they were kids and playing hide n go seek in the back yard. That felt like forever ago, she hadn't really talked to him in years. They still acknowledge one another but she wouldn't really say they were friends.

As she watched him she couldn't help but think how lost he looked at he stared out at the view in front of them. Twirling the joint between her fingers she took another drag before she stood up dusting off her pants before walking towards him.

"Hey Teller."

Jax quickly turned around at the voice from behind him. "Holy shiit." He said as he focused on the girl behind him, he quickly recognized her. "Tara?"

"Sorry." She laughed a little. "Didn't mean to scare you."

Jax looked her over and quickly noticed the rip in her shirt revealing some skin just above her breast and he couldn't help but linger for a second.

"Up here Jax." She said snapping him out of his trance.

He brought his hand up to the back up his neck and smiled. "Sorry. You okay?"

Tara looked down at her ripped shirt. She shrugged and brought the joint to her lips again. "Yeah I'm fine." She said exhaling the smoke. Jax watched her hit the joint he didn't noticed she had and smiled, liking how hot she looked doing it.

He had never thought Tara looked hot before, of course she was pretty but it wasn't in an obvious sort of way like most girls he went after. No, Tara was different. "You want some?" Tara's voice caught his attention again and she extended her hand that held the joint and he accepted with a smile.

"So what are you doing out here?" He asked.

Tara sighed quietly and looked away from him. "It's beautiful isn't it?" He knew she was changing the subject and he didn't want to pry. He took another big hit and then dropped the joint on the ground before exhaling.

Jax looked at her and thought to himself _yeah it is_ before looking out in the same direction. "It's a good place to come out and think."

"To get away." She finished.

They both fell silent and stayed that way for a bit before she looked at him and smiled slightly. "Well I should probably get going. Got a long walk back. It was good seeing you." She said turning to head back towards town.

"Wait. Let me take you."

Tara quickly turned back around. "No it's okay."

"Come on, I can't let a pretty good like you walk alone at this time of night."

She snorted but couldn't keep a smile from forming. "That's a good one." Tara looked at his bike then back at him. "Fine."

Jax smiled and walked over to him bike and climbed on he handed her his helmet as she walked over to him and swung her leg over the bike and sat behind him. She brought her arms up and wrapped them around his chest and he felt something in his stomach, something almost like butterflies. _What the fuck? _He shook off the feeling and started the bike.

Tara tightened her grip slightly and laid her head on his back inhaling his scent. _God did he smell good. _She thought as he put the bike in gear and road off. It took less than fifteen minutes to get back to her house, she was surprised that he still remembered where she lived.

He came to a stop and she looked at the house noticing all the light out, which meant her father was finally asleep. She sat there for a second longer not wanting to move from his warmth, there was something strangely comforting about it. Finally pushing herself from him, she got off the bike and handed him the helmet. "Thank you."

"No problem. Look I don't know what happened but if you need anything."

Tara smiled, she had heard those words many times before but hearing them from Jax she could hear the honesty. "Thanks."

He nodded. "Goodnight Tara."

Tara stepped closer to him and leaned forward and gently kissed his cheek. "Happy Birthday Jackson." She said before turning around and heading back towards her house.

Jax sat there for a minute and watched her walk inside, he felt the tingle on his cheek from where she had kissed him and he smiled.

_Maybe today wasn't so bad._

**AN: I'm sorry for taking FOREVER to post another chapter. In the process of finding a new place and went out of town for a week and forgot my laptop. But I'm back! I also got stuck reading another fic and if any of you are True Blood fans I suggest reading Dead Man's Hand. It's amazing. The next chapter in in the works and it should be up soon. I promise! Also this chapter is basically showing where is all changed for him. The next two chapters will also be flashbacks. Enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I know! I'm horrible! But I did not forget. Things just got crazy. I will try to update more often. I decided to make this two parts just to keep you wanting more. Don't hate me! Thank you all for the reviews and favs/follows. You guys keep me going!**

**_The first I love you_**

**_Part 1_**

Her bounced impatiently as she glanced up at the clock once again, she wasn't even sure what the teacher was saying all she knew was the bell was about to ring and Jax would be out there waiting for her and she couldn't help but smile. The way he made her feel was unlike anything, it was like he put her on a pedestal and would do anything to protect her. Tara wasn't used to be wanted so much by someone and at first it scared her because she wanted him just as much.

For the longest time she still couldn't believe she was dating Jackson Teller, the manwhore well former manwhore of Charming high. Of course girls still gawked at him like he was a god or some shit but Tara made sure to put them in their place. She was never really a fighter before but could always hold her own. With Jax it was different she felt this need to make sure everyone not just the girls know that he was hers and she was his.

It still surprises her now that they have been together for a little over a year that she still feels this need. Not as much because everyone knows they are solid. Even Jax's mother Gemma. At first she wanted nothing to do with Tara, thinking she was just another piece of ass and Jax would be done with her in no time. But as she watched them she must have seen something different because now Gemma is a little more caring than she used to be. Still the biggest bitch of course but she doesn't butt in their shit as much.

Strumming her pencil slightly along with her bouncing foot, she looked back at the teacher still not sure what he is talking about. She knows she should be paying attention because they have a test coming up. Just as she was about to look back at the clock the bell rang and she sighed slightly and a smile came across her face as she stood up throwing her books and pencil in her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. She turned to leave when a voice behind her stopped her.

"Hey Tara."

She turned slightly with the smile still on her face slightly. "Hey David, What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to get together and study after school today. I'm having trouble preparing for the next test."

Tara turned and glanced back towards the door making sure Jax hadn't walked in yet. She looked back at David. "I don't know David." She really hated that she couldn't hang out with him like she used to. They weren't the best of friends but they were great study buddies but since she started dating Jax their relationship was pretty much nonexistent because for some reason they two boys would like to try and one up another in front of her.

"Come on. You know we study well together." He said with a slight grin.

She turned once more and saw the last few student walking out. "Yeah okay. I'll meet you after school." She looked back at him as he grin turned in to a full on smile.

"Great. Thank you. See you after school." He said placing a hand on her shoulder and giving it a small squeeze before walking around her and out the door.

Closing her eyes and letting out a breath she didn't know what she was holding she turned around and saw Jax standing in the doorway. A big smile crossed her lips and she walked towards her wrapping her arms around his neck. "Hi baby." She said as she felt his hands wrap around her waist and pick her up slightly.

"Hey." He pulled his head back and brought his lips to hers. "What did Hale want?" He said as he placed her back down.

Tara shook her head slightly. "He just wanted to see some of my notes." She lied. She knew she couldn't tell him the truth and that killed her but he would insist on going with them or she didn't go at all and they were just going to study, where was the harm in that?

Interlacing her fingers with his they step away from the door of the classroom and head towards her second to last class of the day. "So are you leaving with Ope today?" She asked looking over at him.

He shrugged. "Probably. Got put in some more hours at the garage. But I'll be back before you get out."

"You don't have to today. One of the girls asked me to study after school today." They stopped walking and she stands in front of him in between his legs pulling her hand away from his to run it up and down his chest. "I'll come by and help you relieve some tension." She says in a seductive voice.

He grins and her as he runs his hands down her body and cupping her ass. "I'll look forward to that." He leans in and kisses her once again, their mouths instantly parting for their tongues to meet as the kiss deepens. Running her hands through his hair. She feels that familiar heat spreading between her legs, she has the urge to jump up and wrap her legs around his waist and let him have his way with her.

The warning bell breaks there very heated kiss. She pulls back slightly and smiles as she feels the bulge pressing against her hip. "Later." She whispers in his ear and cups him slightly, hearing him groan quietly.

"You don't know what you do to me." He says with a smile. "I'll have to show you later."

Tara smiles back and leans her forehead against his. "I have to go." He nodded. "Okay."

She looks in to his beautiful blue eyes and she knows the words she wants to say _I love you_. But they never come and she isn't sure why, maybe because once she says them then she can't take it back. It not like she wants to but she just wants him to feel the same.

"Bye." She says instead and kisses him gently before turning and walking in to her class.

* * *

She stood infront of her locker grabbing the books and notepads she would need to use when she studied with David. She couldn't help but feel guilty like she was doing something really bad to Jax. She knows that it's just studying but Jax wouldn't see it that way. Closing her locker she turned and headed towards the parking lot.

Tara quickly glanced around and didn't see Jax or Opies bikes and relief came over her. She made her way towards where David usually parks, she saw him leaning against his car and a smile on his face when he saw her. "Hey." He said as she approached and walked to the passenger door and opened it for her.

"Hey." She said with a small smile looking around the parking lot one last time before getting in.

David went around to the drivers side and got in. Turning the car on he looked over at her. "You hungry?"

"David I thought we were going to study."

"We are I just figured I could take you to eat as a thank you." Tara was about to protest but he cut her off. "It's not a date."

Sighing, she nodded. "Fine. It's not a date." She said emphasizing _not. _

He smiled and nodded before pulling out of the parking spot.

* * *

He sat out front of the ice cream shop smoking a cigarette he looked around at a few locals walking the main streets of Charming. He left the shop a little early to pick up Donna from school and then take her by her work real quick. Jax was a little pissed because it was a busy day at the garage but he was the one usually skipping out early to meet Tara so he didn't give a shit.

Thinking about his best friend he couldn't help but believe how much he had changed. No longer going from girl to girl. He was just as pussy whipped as he was but he didn't give a shit. He loved Donna more than anything and was proud for everyone to know it.

Throwing his cigarette to the ground he stomped it out, he glanced up at the diner across the street real quick and something caught his eye. He saw Tara with a smile on her face and laughing. Opie didn't think much of it till he saw who she was with. His body tensed a little. _Fuckin Hale_. That piece of shit has been trying to get with her even before she was with Jax. _What the hell is she doing with him? _Jax told him Tara was studying with one of the girls from her class so he would be around the garage longer today but now he knows that's a lie.

He stands to get off his bike, he was ending this now. But a hand on his shoulder stops him he turns and looks at Donna behind him. "You ready?" She asked.

"You know anything about that?" He said with a gesture in Tara's direction at the Diner.

Donna looks over and sees them and then shrugs slightly. "No, she said she was going to study after school. She didn't say with who. Why? What's the problem?"

"The problem is Hale trying to squeeze his way in. I need to go over there."

"Baby." She grabs his arm. "Do you really think Tara would do that to Jax? She loves him. If she says they are just studying that is what they are doing. It's not our business. If it bothers you that much. Let Jax know."

He sighs and sits back down. "Fine." Is all he says because he already knows that he is going to tell Jax and he is going to be pissed.

* * *

The wind was blowing a nice cool breeze, she looked up from her book glancing around at the empty park which was usually full. Tara had suggested they come here after the ate and David agreed. They had been sitting here for about an hour and actually got quite a bit of flash cards and other things done that they were studying with.

"lets take a break." He said

"Okay. What do you want to do?"

He picks up his backpack and sticks his hands inside and pulls out a bottle of what she can assume is vodka. "You want a drink."

"Is David Hale committing a crime? You do know we are underage and out in public." She said with a laugh.

"Yeah yeah. Come on just a few drinks."

Tara shook her head. She was very familiar with a few drinks. Her dad had them all the time and she wasn't much of a drinker but when she did drink she could hold her own. She figured that was the one thing she got from her father.

"Come on." He said again.

She looked at him and knew that drinking with him would be a very bad idea but for some reason she really wanted a drink. Maybe something else she got from her father. "Fine, just one."

Six maybe seven shots later and studying was long forgotten. They each had put there books and other things away and were now leaning again at tree just talking. Tara had forgotten how much she enjoyed his company he was always someone she could talk to before she met Jax.

_Jax _her mind kept drifting back to him and guilt would consume her, she knew he would be pissed if he knew she was here with David and drinking. But she was having a good time. They did study so that wasn't a lie, she knew this was still bad and wouldn't want him to lie to her. She needed to see him. She looked up at David who had stood away from the tree swaying slightly. Maybe he couldn't hold his liquor.

"David, I think I should go. It's getting late."

He turned and looked at her before stepping closer closing the gap. He was way too close for comfort, she could feel his breath on her cheek. He hand ran up the side of her body. "Do you know how beautiful you are?"

She pushed his hand from her. "David I think you may be dru." He cut her off pulling her body flush against his and kissed her, his tongue parted her lips and as soon as he stuck it inside her mouth, everything was screaming at her to stop him. This wasn't the lips she loved to taste this was all wrong, she needed to stop this and just as she was about to push him off she heard him.

"Son of a bitch!" Jax yelled and grabbed David by his arm pulling him back and delivering a hard left hook to his jaw. David fell to the ground instantly. Jax stood over him and lifted him back up and hit him again. Tara stood there shocked not being able to move, she looked at as he repeatedly hit David, blood covering his knuckles and Davids face.

"Jax Stop" She yelled but he didn't hear her. She stepped forwards and grabbed his shirt pulling him back as he went to hit him again. He stood back and she stepped in front of him placing her hands on his chest to keep back, his gaze landed on her. She had never seen that look in his eyes, so much anger but she also saw pain and that broke her heart.

He pushed her hands away. "Don't fuckin touch me." He spat at her before turning and walking back towards his bike.

As she stood there watching the boy she loved more than anything walk away she felt her heart break in to pieces. She wanted to run after him and tell him it was a mistake, that nothing happened, that she was about to push him away. That is what she wanted to do but her legs wouldn't move. She was stuck.


	4. Chapter 4

**_AN:_**** Yes! A new chapter! I am soo sorry for being gone. Things got busy and then i lost my muse and couldn't find myself to want to write. But I am back! I have missed this so much.**

**ENJOY!**

**_Part 2_**

Jax pushed himself out from underneath the Honda he was working on after Piney told him he was good to start cleaning up, since he didn't need to get Tara after school he was able to put in some overtime. He got up grabbing a rag to wipe his hands off and headed towards the clubhouse to shower and get ready. She was all he had been thinking about since he left her earlier and all he wanted was for these hours to go by as quickly as possible so she could be in his arms once again.

He knew that to his brothers he was pussy whipped and he really couldn't give a shit. Tara was different, she wasn't with him just because of his looks or his status in the club. She saw parts of him that no one else did. He loved her, not that he had told her that but he did and he was finding it hard to see his life without her being a part of it.

After his much needed shower, Jax got dressed in a light blue pair of jean that hung against his hips and a white tee. He pulled on socks and his white sneakers before running comb through his hair. Throwing on his Kutte he opened the door from his room and walked out towards the bar. He grabbed a beer and cracked it open taking a long pull. _Damn that taste fuckin great_. He thought to himself with a smirk.

As he stepped outside he heard the rumble of a bike and saw Opie backing in to his usual spot with Donna on bike. It's crazy how things are different for him and his brother now, they both have amazing girls and no longer fuck around. He walked over to the picnic table and sat on top as he watched Opie and Donna get off the bike and head his way.

"Hey man." Opie said as he rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little nervous.

"Hey." He looked to Donna. "Hey Donna."

"Hi Jax." She smiled slightly and then looked at Opie. "I'll be inside." He stood on her tippy toes and gave him a kiss before turning and walking inside.

Jax took another drink of his beer, getting ready to take off himself to find his girl. God he fuckin missed her. Just as he was about to get up to do that Opie spoke.

"You heard from Tara?"

Jax snapped his head back to Opie at the sound of her name. "No, I was just about to go find her. Why?"

Opie ran a hand through his hair before sighing. "I saw her earlier at the diner while I was waiting for Donna."

Jax shrugged slightly. "She said she was studying with one of the girls from class."

He studied the look on his best friends face and knew something was up. "What is it?"

Opie looked away for a moment before bringing his eyes back to Jax. "She was with Hale."

The moment he heard that pricks name he jumped off the table and headed towards his bike. He heard Opies footsteps behind him "Look man I don't think it was anything bad.." That was the last he heard Opie say as he hopped on to his bike and quickly put on his helmet. _Mother fucker! _He knew that asshole had a thing for Tara but she kept insisting they were just friends. The logical part of himself knew that Tara would never do anything like that to him but the angry as hell part didn't give a shit. He started his bike and peeled out of the parking lot.

He knew there was only one place Tara liked to go and study other than the library and that was the park off sunview. '_The fresh air always helps me think better' _She had told him the last time they were there but all he could remember was how much studying they didn't get done. He backed his bike up to the curb, almost a block away. He quickly got off and headed towards the park, his pulse pounding in his ears every step he took. His hands shook slightly from the anger he was feeling, he wanted to hurt him.

As he rounded the corner and the park came in to view his eyes instantly zeroed in on Hale and Tara standing by a tree. Time seemed to slow as he watched Hale back her up against the tree and run his hand down her body. He took off running towards them and the last thing he saw before he vision went red was Hales lips on Taras.

He wasn't sure all of what happened next. He hit Hale he was pretty fuckin sure about that and if he hadn't heard the fear in her voice and the feel of her hand on his arm he probably wouldn't have stopped. He looked at her _"Don't fuckin touch me" _He mumbled before walking of not wanting to look at her anymore. _She kissed him! She fuckin kissed him! _Just thinking about it made him want to turn back around and finish that prick off. But he knew he couldn't do that and he was too pissed to deal with Tara, he needed to get the hell away from her.

He made it back to his bike cranked the engine and took off. He thought that maybe he should just go for a ride and clear his head but he couldn't fuckin get that image out of his head. Before he knew it he was pulling in to the lot of Teller-Morrow. He saw his mom and clay stepping out of the garage office and knew his mom would want to know what happened and he couldn't deal with that right now.

He got off his bike and headed towards the clubhouse without giving his mother and clay another look even though he heard her calling his name. He walking in to the clubhouse and headed straight for the bar grabbing the first bottle of Jack he saw and took a long hefty gulp. He looked around and saw his best friend standing by the pool table with Donna on his hip both of them laughing. He thought of Tara and took another big drink before walking back towards his room in the back.

The incident with David and Jax had sobered her up completely and she ended up having to drive David home and then walk back to her house. She thought about calling Jax but knew he was still really pissed. By the time she made it home it was dark out and none of the lights were on in her house, which meant her father was gone. She breathed a sigh of relief and pulled her keys from her bag and let herself in and went straight to her room. She dropped her bag by the door and then fell on to her bed. She rolled to her back and stared at the ceiling. Her mind went to Jax and what he was doing and she knew she needed to talk to him and let him know that what he saw was a mistake and that she didn't even want it to happen. She closed her eyes and felt the tears she was fighting slide down her temple. She didn't want this to ruin them, she loved Jax and she needed to make it right but she also knew he needed time and when he was ready he would come to her.

She awoke to the sound of the front door slamming shut, she sat up and looked around the pitch black room. She heard the drunk mumblings of her father as he walked around the house before wandering down the hall to his room. _Thank god he didn't come back here_. She looked at the clock and saw that it was almost two in the morning and she still hadn't heard from Jax. Getting up from her bed she walked over to her dresser, grabbed a hair tie and pulled her hair up and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes looked empty and were red rimmed from crying. She took a deep breath and then headed towards her window and opened it to climb out. If he wasn't coming to her she would go to him.

The walk from her house to the garage wasn't that long but at this time of night it wasn't the safest. She wasn't in the best part of town but she moved quickly. As she walked in to the parking lot she saw a few people hanging around outside. Some of them were members she knew, but they seemed to be too drunk to notice her there or they just didn't care. She walked past them and in to the clubhouse, she stopped and stared at all the bodies that were scattered all over the place passed out. She carefully maneuvered herself around them and then headed to the back towards Jaxs room.

Tara stood outside the door and hesitated with her hand on the knob. _What if he isn't alone_? The thought entered her mind just as fast as it left and she released the breath she didn't know she was holding before opening the door. The room was dark and the only light was from the street lamps shining through the windows.

But there he was lying on his side facing away from her, alone. She saw the empty bottle on the table beside the bed. She hated that she brought him to that point, wanting to pass out drunk to not deal with anything. That's what her father did and she hated that Jax was doing it because of her. Closing the door quietly she walked towards the bed. She stood by the side and reached down to the button of her jeans and undid them and pulled them off her legs along with her panties and then she grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head and dropped in in the pile of her clothes on the floor. She unfastened her bra and let it fall before pulling the covers back and climbing in behind him.

He shifted slightly but didn't wake up. She moved closer to him and molded her chest to his back and brought her arm around his waist. She gently kissed his shoulders and felt him move again before rolling to his back and looking at her. "Tara?" He asked his deep voice asked sleeply.

"Yeah baby it's me." She leaned down and kissed his lips, her tongue licked his bottom trying to gain access to his mouth after a few second he gave in and their tongues intertwined. He brought his hand up to the nape of her neck and pulled her closer. She moaned in to his mouth and she felt his body tense and he pulled away abruptly and sat up. She sat up with his and saw the pained look on his face. "You should go." He said with no emotion in his voice.

Her stomach fell and her heart felt as if it was stomped on by those simple words. "I'm sorry Jax. I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't even want it to, he just kissed me. I was going to push him away just as you got there. Please you have to believe me." She put her hand on his cheek and looked in to his eyes. "I would never do that to you. I love you Jax."

Minutes passed and he didn't say anything, he just stared at her with a look she didn't understand. She was about to say something again when he pulled her in to his lap and brought his lips to hers. "Say it again." He murmured against them.

"I love you." She said and he kissed her again. She felt him move beneath and pull his boxer down his thighs freeing his erection. "Again." He said as he kissed her neck. She lifted herself up and brought the tip of him to her wet entrance. "I love you." He placed his hands on her hips and lowered her on to him her wet heat enveloping him. She moaned closing her eyes as she took all of him, she started to rise but his gripped tightened on her hips and she opened her eyes and stared in to his beautiful baby blues and then his lips twitch slightly. "I love you too Tara. So much."

She couldn't help but smile back as tears once again formed and slid down her cheeks before she kissed him with everything she had and as she pulled back he rolled them over and began to thrust in to her.


End file.
